"HE IS ABLE"- Pregnancy This Time Around

It's been over two years since I have written a blog post, and I haven't regretted it one bit. Raising Brady has been such a delight, with joyful memories and lessons learned along the way. As of late though, I've had such an itch to write again. I blame it on being pregnant. Something about being pregnant always brings out the writer in me. Today I wanted to share how this pregnancy has been up to this point, but before I do, I want to paint a little background picture first.

Those who have been around for a while know all about Brady's pregnancy and birth story. I shared it knowing that we overcome by the blood of Jesus and the words of our testimonies. Having a family has been just that, my testimony. After having Brady, God used him to speak to my heart in a variety of ways. I've been shown what unconditional love looks like, what grace looks like at a deeper level, and about sacrifice. I've also had to run to God in moments of pure frustration when I wasn't sure I could take one more cry, or hearing the word no, or any other ugly thing that a two year old can bring out of his momma's heart. When Brady turned two, there was a moment of jealousy that he didn't have a sibling on the way, unlike so many people I knew who had a child Brady's age. Funny enough, there was hardly ever questions from people asking if we were going to expand our family. I believe people were just being gracious and not wanting to ruffle feathers, knowing what we went through, but there was still a little sting that it was rarely brought up in conversations.

I'll never forget, one night as my husband and I were watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy, that at the end of the episode I just balled, telling my husband "I really think Brady was meant to be a big brother." From that moment, we began trying. From that May until December, we were met with disappointment as it just wasn't happening like we had hoped. I constantly went back and forth in my thoughts on whether this is what we really wanted or not, because when a two year old starts having their terrible two moments, you start to doubt if you can handle more. I once drove to a store after a frustrating evening and called my older sister to let it all out. In the moment, I shared that "maybe this is why God is not giving me another child, clearly I can't even handle one!" She calmed me down and said that what I just shared out loud was a lie from the enemy, and that that is not the truth at all. With highs and lows of parenting, and with no sign of a positive pregnancy test, you could see how I was confused on if this was going to happen or not.

Then at the beginning of January, things changed. My husband and I had attended a three day event at our church called "Prepare," which we watched from the comfort of our living room (because we wanted to keep with Brady's bed time.) Before the first night service began, I wrote in my journal what I was praying and believing for. I specifically asked for guidance on whether we were to continue trying for a second child or not. The guest pastor spoke on how Jesus restored the sight of two blind men in Matthew 9:27. As the message went on, I wrote in my journal the following: "People pray safe when they've lost sight. Stop allowing your experience to shape your theology. You keep praying too low to protect your heart from disappointment." The theme of "He Is Able" became my daily prayer and what I claimed over this whole thing. At the end of the night, Jearen and I were both in tears, sitting in silence for a good ten minutes after the service was over. In that moment, God aligned our hearts in unity. We both knew that we were meant to keep trying, that God was restoring our sight, and that we should stand on the foundation that HE IS ABLE.

I let my sister and a few close friends know about our prayer and how we felt God clearly spoke to us. At the end of January, even though I didn't seen this promise fulfilled yet, I held onto hope.

Another month rolled by, and I was met with disappointment again. I sat with my sadness that day, and allowed myself time to process my emotions, but I still remained hopeful.

In March, I was two days late when I took a pregnancy test. It was 4pm in the afternoon, and I know you're "supposed" to wait until the morning for the most accurate results, but I just couldn't. What I saw was a faint positive, but a positive non the less. I was in complete shock! What felt like an eternity from May up unto this point, also only felt like a minute from when God spoke to us in January. I couldn't believe it. My immediate prayer, and what I have prayed everyday since, was that this would be a long, boring, pregnancy with no complications, because HE IS ABLE to provide just that.


Since that test, I have seen His hand throughout each weekly milestone. The first time we had a sonogram, we saw a perfectly round yoke sac with a steady heart beating in this new miracle of ours.

We have seen high progesterone levels from the first round of blood work I had, indicating that I would not need additional progesterone in my first trimester. We have seen the baby continuing to grow right on schedule, and we have seen this baby completely protected from the car accident we we were in last month. With all of these things, we can't help but be thankful and praise God for these gifts and answers to a healthy pregnancy.

With all of this being said, I do have two pray request. The first is that last week I experienced one small episode of bleeding, which allowed me to get a sonogram a few hours after, with no indication of anything wrong. The doctor did say that it looked like my placenta was somewhat low, covering a sliver of my cervix, causing the bleeding I just had. The term placenta previa isn't something that is diagnosed until at least 18 weeks, and she assured me that there is still time for it to move higher as I continue to grow. So pray for just that- that the placenta moves out of the way!

Second prayer, is that because I have a history of preterm labor, I will be having cervical checks every two weeks through a sonogram. When I delivered Brady early, we discovered it was because the bleeding I had caused the tissue in my cervix to deteriorate, which caused my cervix to shorten. These checks are to be precautionary, and I am fine with that. I will also be given progesterone shots every week (again, this is due to having preterm labor history). My prayer here is that my body will do fine with these injections, and that my husband will have patience & support as he has to deal with his wife's pregnancy hormones on steroids.

I won't lie, this past week I have felt down and in the dumps about having to get these shots. I've thought the worst, and want to remember that GOD IS ABLE still, and that this pregnancy can still be long and boring, even with these shots.

If you have read this far, bless you! I am one to give lots of details in my story telling, so I know you just read through a lot. Even though sometimes the circumstances I'm in are not what I would have picked, I know that God is with me and will never leave me. Whatever your circumstances are right now, I pray you know that He is for you and has a plan for you as well.

-Becky