5 Year Anniversary w/ Jearbear!

Our journey together has been so unique, with ups and downs, good days and bad days, joy and pain, and yet, The Lord has directed every step for us. We have never gone without. We have never been left alone. We have never given up. We have been given so much love from God for each other. Here is a look at the last 5 years:

5 Years Ago
The anticipation of the big day had arrived, and we were so ready to be married. We had a simple ceremony with our loved ones around, and thanked God for allowing us to become one. We drove off for our honeymoon, and the nervousness of entering "intimacy" for the first time had me as a blushing bride. We laughed through our honeymoon, making memories and enjoying our new life together. We set up our home together in Hurst in the best apartment I could have ever asked for, and shortly after became dog owners to a pup named Cooper that didn't stay with us long. We shared our car, learned all about budgeting and finances together, and stayed up late watching hours of Friday Night Lights. I cried over being away from the familiar, and we served together in a church. We were young, in love, and had so much to learn about life.

4 Years Ago
We celebrated our One Year Anniversary in Dallas at the Adolphus Hotel (the story about this night is priceless..Jearen scared the tar out of me!). We looked back at what all happened in our first year as husband and wife, and had so much to be thankful for. We celebrated holidays together, went to multiple Ranger's Games, established new friendships in the metroplex (which was huge for me), and took 6 students to youth camp as we served as youth pastors for a few months. We thought about leaving the metroplex and moving to my hometown, and I learned so much about myself and about my husband.

3 Years Ago
We celebrated our 2 Year Anniversary by going to the doctor, after Jearen thought he tore his MCL on the lake. I drove us to Dallas that evening to have dinner, and J had to use crutches. We were two weeks away from moving into our first house that we purchased, and I couldn't have been more excited. Little did we know that our house was going to flood in the first 3 hours of moving in, and that God would have to hold us during a difficult day. I became a lead teacher in a preschool class, and Jearen started a new job back in March. I decided to start getting my butt in gear to become a certified teacher, and we started our 12 Dates of Christmas in December.

2 Years Ago
We celebrated our 3 Year Anniversary w/ a staycation in the metroplex & John Mayer concert. Earlier in the year we went to Vegas for the first time (for a work trip) and then Jearen surprised me with an overnight trip to the Grand Canyon. We brought home our new dog, Maggie, and began helping with a jr. high ministry at our church. Jearen became a licensed minister, took us to a Cowboys Game for Thanksgiving, and we had our 2nd Annual 12 Dates of Christmas. At the end of the year, we found out we were pregnant, and celebrated/prayed over our gift everyday.

1 Year Ago
I was with the youth from our church at camp, and Jearen was in New Hampshire for a work trip. He sent me a huge bouquet of flowers to my camp, and we celebrated the next week by going to my favorite place for a date night. At the beginning of the year, we lost our baby & I had to endure an emergency surgery. We took our 2nd annual trip to Vegas, visited family at the beach, took a day trip to Memphis, and bought a new car. We endured so much pain & heartbreak month after month, and had to rely on God's strength, love, and joy to bring healing to our hearts and minds. We went on a mission trip to Estes Park, CO, I took my generalist teaching exam & passed, and we had our 3rd annual 12 Dates of Christmas.

Today

We are currently on Waikiki Beach in Oahu. Throughout this year, we attended a Garth Brooks Concert, went on a Valentine's Day Scavenger Hunt in Dallas, and went to Vegas again. I took my ESL test & passed, and now I'm waiting for the new school year to roll around so I can teach at a middle school.

Being married to my best friend has been nothing but a blessing. I never knew how much love I could have for someone until I met Jearen. He has allowed me to be my goofy, sensitive, sappy, quiet self, and has loved me more than I ever thought was possible. He is the man who protects, provides, and cares for me and I am so thankful for all he does day in and day out. God has been good to me, and I am beyond grateful for the gift my husband is to me. My prayer is to make his life fun, encourage him, love him, make him feel safe, and provide a home that he can relax in, all while being a witness of what God wants to do in his life. He is my best friend. The man I love. My forever date. My sweetest gift.  I love you, Jearbear! xoxo

Love The Home You Have

I can't remember the exact day or where I found this article, but somehow I stumbled across a blog that addressed just what the title of this post says: Love The Home You Have. I'm pretty sure there is a book that just came out talking about this subject, and just the title alone caught my eye. Being one who LOVES decorating my home, I started to wonder, do I really love the home I have? Well, I love that I have a home. And I love whom I share it with. And I love that I can mix & match my stuff to somehow create something worthy of a like or comment on social media over. But the more I thought about it, I started to realize that so much of what I do in my home is for others, not for myself and my husband. I don't mean necessarily that my house is made of glass, and all I want is for people to look in and ohh and aww over. I am not perfect, nor do I have the perfect marriage or perfect house. But even through all of my imperfections, I honestly believe that if something is on my heart that the Lord is helping me through, then maybe I can encourage someone else who may be in the same boat. You know, we will overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and the words of our testimony. Yes, when I see the word testimony, I think of when Jesus changed my life, but I also think about the lessons and daily reminders that He teaches me through all the little things I come across. Like being a home maker. So stick with me as I try to find the words to share from my heart, in hopes that I am not alone in this.

I once had some friends over for dinner, and we were in the dining room eating when someone mentioned a sign I had on my wall. It was a little white farmhouse style sign that said Fresh Eggs. I mentioned how I bought it at goodwill (yay for thrifting) and then words spilled out of my mouth..."I figured someone would think it was cute." Someone, meaning not me. I could have said "Oh, I just thought it was so cute!" But I didn't. Instead, I saw a tiny glimpse of something deep inside my heart that was leaking out. For the very first time, I caught myself doing something for my home for the approval of others. Mind you, I have come to know this about myself a long time ago with needing/wanting approval. I read Joyce Myers' book Approval Addiction back in college, and it was eye opening. But never had I thought about it in terms of how I decorated my house. I was embarrassed.

A year later, I was in a major purge of all of my house stuff. Thanks to Pinterest, I had read so many articles about being more minimalist, that I wanted to literally get rid of everything (ok, maybe not everything) and live in a fresh, clean, bare house. Reality set in pretty quick into my declutter frenzy, and I realized I liked so many different things in my home. Most of my stuff I will gladly tell you how I thrifted it for cheap. Some things I own were gifted to me. Very rarely do I outdo myself and buy expensive items just so my house looks good. But regardless of the price of an item in my house, I realized I was holding onto things that I didn't care for or love, all because I had this thought in the back of my mind, that someone else would probably like it, so I should keep it. Silly me! I ended up selling that little Fresh Eggs sign for a few bucks, and felt relieved that I could be free to get rid of things that weren't "me."

These past few weeks, I've had another idea run through my head. I kept seeing homes online that had that whole eclectic thing down. I am so not one to hoard stuff, and I can't stand the sight of clutter, but something I kept noticing in the houses that have so much style, patterns, colors, etc. was that it was all stuff they LOVED. And as much as I want to have a minimalist house that is always clean and catches the attention of anyone and everyone who sees it, if it isn't filled with things I love, then what's the point. So here I am struggling between wanting to be more minimalist, and wanting to display every. single. photo. I own because I love the people in them, I found what I really wanted.
What I really want, more than likes & comments on social media, more than a picture perfect home, is a place for my husband and I to retreat to. A place where friends can come over & make themselves at home. A place where it's ok to be silly, sad, joyful, and where the Holy Spirit can dwell. I want my home to be all that it can be, right now. I don't need the high dollar decor. I don't need to perfect color of paint on the walls. I don't need this or that. I already have. I have a place to rest my head. I have running water, A/C, electricity. I have photos displayed throughout the house because they make me happy. I have a bright colored kitchen w/ M's over the cabinets. I have much to be thankful for.

In saying all of that, I hope you are encouraged. As lovely as every house is on HGTV, Pinterest, and in the Magazines, what makes a house a home is more that just paint & decor. It's the love you put in it. It's the memories made. It's laughing around the dinner table with friends. It's crying on the couch at a sad movie (I'm a sap!). It's sitting on your porch (as big or as small as it may be) to enjoy the air outside. Your home is so much more that the material items inside. My prayer is that now that my eyes have been opened to just how much approval I wanted from others on how cute my home is, that I will shift my focus onto the things that matter, like creating an environment of love, peace, patience, kindness, etc. inside of my walls where I call home. Regardless if your married, single, with children or not, the environment you set in your home & the memories made there will be what is remembered, not if you had the cutest mantel or perfect shabby chic living room.

Let's stop waiting to have everything on our wishlist for the perfect home, and start loving the home you have, imperfections & all! Some days may be easier that others, but we are in this together!

Becky