*Hey everyone! Just as a heads up: THIS IS LONG! I wrote this one early morning during my maternity leave to remember everything that lead up to us having our sweet son, Brady. There will be four parts to this story, and I hope you stick around for all four! These posts serve two purposes. The first is for memory sake, so that I can remember the moments, the details, the emotions that brought us to where we are now. The second purpose, and the one that really holds dear to my heart, is that this will bring HOPE to others. Whether it is hope for having a baby, or something else that you're longing for, my prayer is that my story gives seeds of hope to those who need it. So if you read this and you know someone who could benefit from hearing my story, please feel free to share with them. I'm a firm believer that everyone's story can help someone else, no matter how big or small you may feel it is.*
If you missed Part One, you can read it here.
We were driving home from a trip to see my family in Houston when Jearen and I were discussing our house. We wanted a bigger home, but also knew several things needed to be improved in our current home. We spent the four hour drive detailing every house project we wanted to take on. We were already pregnant at this point, and we didn’t even know it. We were itching for a change, not knowing that the answer to that change was going to be a baby on the way! The time came for my period to roll around, and because the doctor told me he wanted me to call when it came, I was more ready for it to come than usual. Day 1, 2, and 3 all passed without any signs of my cycle starting. I’ve been there before though, with things being late, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Then days 4,5, and 6 swept by with nothing to show for it. I was beyond nervous. I had wasted so much money buying pregnancy test before with only negative outcomes that I really didn’t want to buy more. But I did. And along with the regular priced test, I also bought a few (ok 5) from Dollar Tree because I’ve read that they are just as good. I came home, waiting for the next morning to arrive so I could take the test when the timing was right. I took the test at 6 am, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, there were two lines. It was faint, but it was there. I cried from shock, but my heart was still so hesitant that I doubted it. Maybe it was wrong. I woke up Jearen to tell him about it, and he felt the same way I did... hesitant. So I tested again the next day and got the same two faint lines. Then we decided I should wait a few days. Six tests later, all positive, it was becoming VERY real. I was pregnant. And excitement was met face to face with fear.
Fear that this child wouldn’t make it to my womb. That it would be stuck and we would find ourselves in the same predicament as we were in January of 2014. I immediately called the fertility specialist I had just seen a few weeks ago, and told them about the positive pregnancy test. They told me that the wanted me to have some blood work done first, and then they would see me to have an ultrasound. Jearen and I prayed hard that this baby would make it to my womb. It became our biggest prayer. Most women don’t even give it a second thought if they see those two lines on a test. Due to our past though, it was very clear to us just how every part of becoming pregnant and staying pregnant was a miracle.
I went in for blood work, and they called me at work the next day to confirm the pregnancy. I was excited, but still very concerned about where the baby was in my body. They had to draw my blood three times to check my HCG level. On the day that I was scheduled to have my blood drawn for the second time, I was at work. I had just finished class and was heading to lunch, when I felt like I was bleeding. I went to the restroom and sure enough, what looked like a full period was happening. Fear immediately took over. No one besides Jearen knew I was pregnant. I knew I needed to leave to see the doctor right away, but how? I pulled my trusty bff coworker out of the breakroom, and spoke quickly as I began looking like a ghost of my situation. She told me to go and she would handle everything at school. I drove all the way from Duncanville to Las Colinas feeling sick to my stomach, like I was about to puke. Jearen was on a work trip out of the state, and was having to hear about all of this via phone call. I walked into the doctor’s office without an appointment, and they told me that unfortunately, there was nothing they could do for me. They told me to go ahead and get my blood tested as I had already scheduled, and then once they get those results back, they would bring me in. I shakily drove myself over to get my blood drawn, just a mile from my house, then went home to curl up on the bed and watch Gilmore Girls. I was alone, cramping, and scared. I took off work the next day if I remember correctly. The day after that I had to put on my game face because we were going on a school field trip to the Zoo. I got the phone call that said my HCG level was still going up via my blood work, so they believed I was still pregnant. I was told I had a small blood clot that had caused the bleeding, but was nothing for me to worry about. Once Jearen was back in town, it was time for us to get an ultrasound done.
We were driving home from a trip to see my family in Houston when Jearen and I were discussing our house. We wanted a bigger home, but also knew several things needed to be improved in our current home. We spent the four hour drive detailing every house project we wanted to take on. We were already pregnant at this point, and we didn’t even know it. We were itching for a change, not knowing that the answer to that change was going to be a baby on the way! The time came for my period to roll around, and because the doctor told me he wanted me to call when it came, I was more ready for it to come than usual. Day 1, 2, and 3 all passed without any signs of my cycle starting. I’ve been there before though, with things being late, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Then days 4,5, and 6 swept by with nothing to show for it. I was beyond nervous. I had wasted so much money buying pregnancy test before with only negative outcomes that I really didn’t want to buy more. But I did. And along with the regular priced test, I also bought a few (ok 5) from Dollar Tree because I’ve read that they are just as good. I came home, waiting for the next morning to arrive so I could take the test when the timing was right. I took the test at 6 am, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, there were two lines. It was faint, but it was there. I cried from shock, but my heart was still so hesitant that I doubted it. Maybe it was wrong. I woke up Jearen to tell him about it, and he felt the same way I did... hesitant. So I tested again the next day and got the same two faint lines. Then we decided I should wait a few days. Six tests later, all positive, it was becoming VERY real. I was pregnant. And excitement was met face to face with fear.
Fear that this child wouldn’t make it to my womb. That it would be stuck and we would find ourselves in the same predicament as we were in January of 2014. I immediately called the fertility specialist I had just seen a few weeks ago, and told them about the positive pregnancy test. They told me that the wanted me to have some blood work done first, and then they would see me to have an ultrasound. Jearen and I prayed hard that this baby would make it to my womb. It became our biggest prayer. Most women don’t even give it a second thought if they see those two lines on a test. Due to our past though, it was very clear to us just how every part of becoming pregnant and staying pregnant was a miracle.
I went in for blood work, and they called me at work the next day to confirm the pregnancy. I was excited, but still very concerned about where the baby was in my body. They had to draw my blood three times to check my HCG level. On the day that I was scheduled to have my blood drawn for the second time, I was at work. I had just finished class and was heading to lunch, when I felt like I was bleeding. I went to the restroom and sure enough, what looked like a full period was happening. Fear immediately took over. No one besides Jearen knew I was pregnant. I knew I needed to leave to see the doctor right away, but how? I pulled my trusty bff coworker out of the breakroom, and spoke quickly as I began looking like a ghost of my situation. She told me to go and she would handle everything at school. I drove all the way from Duncanville to Las Colinas feeling sick to my stomach, like I was about to puke. Jearen was on a work trip out of the state, and was having to hear about all of this via phone call. I walked into the doctor’s office without an appointment, and they told me that unfortunately, there was nothing they could do for me. They told me to go ahead and get my blood tested as I had already scheduled, and then once they get those results back, they would bring me in. I shakily drove myself over to get my blood drawn, just a mile from my house, then went home to curl up on the bed and watch Gilmore Girls. I was alone, cramping, and scared. I took off work the next day if I remember correctly. The day after that I had to put on my game face because we were going on a school field trip to the Zoo. I got the phone call that said my HCG level was still going up via my blood work, so they believed I was still pregnant. I was told I had a small blood clot that had caused the bleeding, but was nothing for me to worry about. Once Jearen was back in town, it was time for us to get an ultrasound done.
Hands held, we walked together into the ultrasound
appointment. We prayed together before the nurse walked in, and then it was
time to see the baby. We shared with the nurse our nervousness because of the
ectopic pregnancy, and then not even 5 seconds into the ultrasound, the nurse
said, “Well you don’t have to worry about that this time, because there is your
baby.” I could not believe my eyes. My prayers were answered. There before me,
on a black and white screen, was a little speck of a human being that made is safe
to my womb. We held it together, but as soon as the nurse walked out, both
Jearen and I were in tears. Our hearts were so thankful, giving all the praise
to God. We both decided that we wanted to tell our family that weekend the good
news. At this point, I was 8 weeks pregnant and I was about to let the secret
out. My first phone call was to my sister Kim. I face timed her as she was cooking
dinner, and showed her the sonogram photo. Tears were flowing from both sides
of that phone call. We drove to Stephenville to share the news with my family
that weekend, and Jearen shared the news with his family. Another miracle
before our eyes, this was only the beginning.
Stay tuned for Part Three!!
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