Highlights of 2014

If you were to ask me how my last year went, I would quickly have said I hated it. I kept a smile on my face, tried hard to remain positive, and counted down the days until the year was over. Then, I did an inventory over the last year one day as I was praying, and the Lord reminded me of so much goodness that has happened over the past twelve months. So, in an effort to look at the past, and pray for the future, I blogged all that has happened.

Looking back at 2014, there were a lot of happy moments, some very big sad moments, things that we celebrated, and things that we were blessed to do/have. My last post was about the loss that we experienced at the beginning of 2014, which you can read more about here. Moving forward from that day, it took a lot of strength when feelings of sadness and grief overwhelmed me, and those feelings came in different doses each month. Looking back, I have MUCH to be thankful for, despite the pain I felt. So this post is all about celebration. Though this year has been hard for me emotionally, I look back and can see so much good that has happened. I will choose joy when I look at this past year instead of sadness & bitterness. The Lord has been good to me, and has drawn me closer to Him.

The verses Romans 8:38-39 have brought a whole new meaning to me and has been a foundation that I have stood on. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Isn't that good?! :)

As I wrote down things that happened over the past year in my journal, I had a sense of joy. Knowing that there is so much ahead of me, and that God continues to guide my steps the whole way. Life is such a journey, and at the young age of 27, I'm really starting to see that more and more. I have been given much love, grace, forgiveness, peace, joy, trust, and then more grace.

As you scroll through the photos of the past year of my life, I pray that you are able to do the same inventory in your own life over this past year, seeing and knowing that God has been good to you! I'd love to know what God has done in your life, so feel free to share :)!

Looking forward to all that is ahead in 2015,
Becky!

• Surrounded by love
  
• Attended Jearen's Great Grandmother's Funeral who lived to be 100!
  
• Celebrated Valentine's Day with my Love
  
• Witnessed our friends Kent & Lindsay get engaged
  
• Took a trip with Jearen to Vegas
  
• Celebrated Maggie's 1st birthday
  
• Blessed with a fancy dinner to Bob's Steakhouse from Jearen's Company
  
• Took my first trip to Canton, TX and came home with an M
  
• Put lights on our patio and made it feel complete (after a forever long remodel)
  
• Attended several Rangers Games
  
• Bought a new car
  
• Supported & cheered on students at Fine Arts
  
• Took a 24 hr trip to Pflugerville, TX to see my nieces perform in a dance recital
  
• Took a weekend trip to visit my parents in Matagorda, TX
  
• Surprised by an early birthday party for me in May from my preschool class (birthday in July)
  
• Attended a Color Bash at The Tree Student Ministries
  
• Took Maggie to Bark @ The Park
  
• Took a 24 hr trip with Jearen to Memphis, TN
  
• Swam in Dad & Sherry's new pool
  
• Celebrated turning 27 with friends at Hard 8 in Roanoke
  
• Celebrated the 4th of July & Birthday in Stephenville with family
  
• Went to Camp with the students at Abundant Life 
  
• Celebrated 4 years of marriage
  
• Took trip to Estes Park, CO with students from ALC
  
• Finally took my teaching certification test & passed! 
  
• Celebrated Jearen's 26th birthday at Babe's & Top Golf
  
• Shared my testimony at Thrive (Women's event at ALC)
  
• Survived Jearen's long travels for work from August - October (and picked him up from the airport with signs)
  
• Had our friend Kent move in with us
  
• Began Fine Arts practice for 2015
  
• Attended the State Fair with Kent & Lindsay
  
• Spent a weekend with family for Hansen Oktoberfest
  
• Went on our 2nd annual date to the Pumpkin Patch
  
• Shared a meal & tears & laughter around a dinner table at Friendsgiving
  
• Shared 12 dates of Christmas with Jearen
  

God's Love Through My Heartbreak!

What I am about to share is very personal, but I want to share God's goodness over my life in hopes that it encourages your faith.

Before I married my sweet husband, I had no desire to have children. It's a little harsh, but it was the truth. Part of that reasoning was because I was terrified of having to go to the doctor's office, so to have to go for 9 whole months? Yeah right! I became an Aunt when I was a junior in high school, so I love kids and have been around them for years. Shoot, I teach a class of 3 year olds who I adore. So it wasn't that I didn't like kids, but more about fear over every aspect a child brings.

I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to have a honeymoon baby, especially since my husband and I both waited to be married before we even entered "that" territory. I placed so much fear and anxiety into having a child in our first year of marriage. We both agreed prior to being husband & wife that we wanted to wait at least 5 years before we started a family. The first two years of our marriage flew by and we were loving life just the two of us. We were continuing to grow as individuals and a couple. We were happy. We were content.

 As time went on, we decided we were ready for a house, and then shortly after that we got our dog. Both were great and all seemed to fit into God's perfect timing. Then out of no where, I truly began to feel like my heart was shifting. I started to entertain this idea that one day we were really going to raise a family together. Through my doubt and worry, I know God slowly began to peel away the fears I was carrying around towards bearing a child, and was allowing my heart to be open to the idea. God is good, because the thought of this before would make me shut down. No joke. But as God, in His loving manner, began to open my heart to be filled with His desires, so much freedom has come. Looking through an old prayer journal from last year, I found an entry from August 9th, 2012. I wrote "I went to sleep last night worried that I was disappointing Jearen and other people because we weren't having kids yet. I have always been terrified to have a baby, and yet that is all people ask us these days. I feel like my heart is becoming softer to the idea. Maybe I just have a lot of walls built up towards this that you are slowly tearing down until that day comes." I went on to write, "I pray for our future children, that you will raise Jearen and I to be loving, Godly parents. I pray your provision and blessings for our future. This is the first time I've ever prayed about this, I hope you're smiling :)."

Then, in December of 2013, I found out I was pregnant. We shared the news with our closest family and friends, and had so much joy and peace inside of us as we were embarking on a new journey as husband and wife.

 Unfortunelty, it did not go according to how we planned.

At the beginning of January 2014, I went in to have my first sonogram. After not seeing anything on the screen, there was a small concern that either I wasn't as far along as we thought (8 weeks) or that the baby was in the wrong spot. I went home that night trying not to hang my head in discouragement. From day one of finding out I was pregnant, my trust has been in The Lord. So I knew I needed to continue to keep my chin up. We had to have blood work done and wait over the weekend before we knew just how far along I was. Monday at work, the only thing on my mind was the little baby inside of me. Did we catch the pregnancy super early? Was he/she in the wrong spot? It's all I thought about. Then my husband called me that afternoon to let me know what the doctor had said. (Sidenote: Jearen was PHENOMINAL at helping me with everything, from setting up my appointments to being with me every step of the way.) The doctor told him that the bloodwork came back showing I was indeed pregnant, but they couldn't tell how far along I was. They wanted to see me the next day to do more bloodwork.

Immediatly after getting off the phone with him, I went to tell my boss I had a doctors appointment in the morning. I had a nervous stomach all day, but after I talked to her, it got worse. I began to feel faint, my lower stomach was in severe sharp pain, and I got very hot. Thankfully, I only had 15 minutes left of work, so I suffered through it. I drove home, headed straight to bed, and prayed the pain would go away. The next morning, as I was getting ready to head to the doctor's office, I began to have those same symptoms again. Jearen had an errand to run, so he had to meet me at the doctor's office. I could barely sit up, let alone drive, but I made it there just in time.

After having to do another sonogram (this time very painful), my doctor knew something was wrong. This is where I KNOW God was in control and was taking care of everything. My doctor told me I had two options since she believed I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. I could either take a shot or go into surgery. I can't describe the peace I had, and even my husband was a little taken back by my response, but I just knew I needed surgery. Here I am barely sitting up on a doctor's bench, afraid of needles and all that doctor's offices entail, and I just said I wanted surgery?! It was God giving me the peace to do what needed to be done. I was wheeled off to the ER, texting family letting them know what was going on. I was prepped for surgery with Jearen, his dad, mom and step mom all by my side. Waking up after surgury, all I rememeber was wanting to tell the doctor who was telling me where I was (the recovery room) that I had a good dream :). They allowed Jearen to come back and sit with me for a while.

Looking back, here is how I know GOD IS GOOD and how I have faith to believe that even in such a heartbreaking time, He still loves me.
- My right fullopian tube had ruptured (which was the pain I was feeling Monday night & Tuesday morning). Had I not had that doctor's appoinment set up, I would have been stubborn and not gone to see someone right away.
- Had I waited even longer, I would have bleed internally even more than I did (loosing 2 pints of blood already). My life could have been taken from this earth.
- The surgery went well, and I had no fear of it.
- Family and friends filled my hospital room that night. God showed me His love through each face I got to see.
- Someone was kind enough to donate blood. I'm so thankful for those blood transfusions.
- God allowed me to live to tell this story of heartache, allowing me to look to him for strength and share of his love.
- God placed people in my life prior to the event, who lifted me up in prayer and encouraged my soul at my lowest moment.
-Jearen never left my side, and was so strong as he communicated how I was doing to our family every couple of hours.
- God had given me a deeper trust in him, even when I don't understand why things happen.
- My follow up exam showed everything to be working great.
- I grieved and sometimes still do, but God gives me strength to press on.

I know this is a long story,  but it has become to close to my heart, knowing that Jearen and I WILL have children one day.  This story is sad and heartbreaking, but I serve a God who is BIG, LOVING and GIVING. I stand on His promises, that He has a future for me, and I know this ant hill is just part of my journey to the top of the mountain!!!

The healing process is a long one for this kind of situation, with ups and downs of emotions. I believe that we will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimonies (Revelation 12:1). I've wanted to share this for a while now, and feel like now is the time. Why? Because I'm not ashamed to say I went through this hard season of life. I know many women who miscarry their children feel all alone, and I didn't want to stay in that place. I want to shed light on such a hard topic, knowing that others out there have gone through similar situations. This is just part of my story now, and I want to encourage others to share their stories, whatever that may be. Ladies, I'm always down for a coffee date if anyone wants to get together to know more or just need a listening ear.

Thanks for all the love and support through all of this.
My heart is overwhelmed and beyond thankful!!
 

Blissful Becky

Texas Skylines & God's Reminder to Me.

Most mornings on my drive to work, I typically do the same thing. I drink my coffee, pray for the day ahead of me, try to really wake up as I drive down the familiar road, and look at the sky.

Being that I have to be at work at 7:30 am, I usually am able to see the sun as it rises, and when I do, I take a picture. Ever since I first owned a camera, I have always been captivated by the sky in Texas. Every time I see a pretty sky, I just think of how beautiful God’s creativity is. Then I take a photo, post it on social media, and hope others get to see the sky that day too. Pretty simple, right?! 

This morning, as I was driving to work, it hit me.  I took a picture of the blue sky overlapped by pink and gray clouds, and sent it in a text to my friends. Immediately after sending the text, I had this thought. “What if I became a photographer who only shot photos of the sky. How cool would that be?!” Obviously, I enjoy working with kids, and so I was just day dreaming I guess. haha But then I thought of how unpredictable of a job that would be. It’s not like I KNOW what the sky is going to look like at any certain hour. Sure, you can know the estimated time of sunrise or sunset, but do you know whether there will be extra colors in the sky besides blue? If there are clouds, do you know if they will be big, fluffy, stretched out, or puffy? Of course not. So as I’m sitting there appreciating how different the sky is every day, I was reminded of God’s word, which also happened to be mentioned in a group text with my best friends this morning.  (Sidenote: I am WAY stinkin' blessed to have a group of best friends who can vent together, pray together, be real, and seek God together).

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34.

Looking at the clouds, knowing that I don’t know what tomorrow’s sky will look like in the morning, I’m reminded that I don’t need to worry. In fact, I don't know anything about tomorrow. I may expect to go to work, eat, sleep, etc, but I don't know every detail, and that's ok. (Not that I worry whether or not I will see a pretty sky on my drive the next morning, but just about life in genearal.) I know that God goes before me (Deuteronomy 31:6) and already has a plan for the future (Jeremiah 29:11).

 It may seem silly that a little day dream about photographing clouds reminded me not to worry, but hey, God can speak to your heart through anything. God knows very well (because I get all giddy) that I love a pretty sky, so it makes sense for him to speak to me through something I already love. And this morning He spoke to me to enjoy each day, and not to worry about tomorrow, through just one of His pretty Texas skylines. :) 
 

Becky

Sharing The Gift of Love: My Message at Thrive Live!

Hello again!

It's been a while since I've blogged, and lots have gone on in my life, as I'm sure you can relate.

So if you are reading my blog for the first time, welcome!

If you are a familiar face to my blog posts, then welcome back!

At the end of August, the women's ministry at my church (Abundant Life Church in Grapevine, TX) hosted an event called Thrive Live. This event was set up as if you were attending a live talk show, with guest speakers (me being one of those speakers), dinner, desserts, give aways & more. Funny how I planned on blessing others with my testimony and walked away being blessed myself! God is good :)!

I shared with the audience how God uses us to share His love with others. Today I'd like to share on my blog ways YOU can share the gift of love with others too!

Just as a little background about me: I come from a big family, being the forth out of five children, and so I always wanted to be entertained growing up. When my husband and I first started dating, I was adamant about being creative and having fun together. Through the years, my passion for having regular date nights and making memories in our marriage has become a part of my DNA.

In 1 Corinthians 13:13, it says "but now faith, hope, and love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love." Love is something I am passionate about. I have been married for four years, and being a wife is something I do no take lightly. I'm sure you can relate, as being a mother, a daughter, a friend are all roles we value in ourselves. I want to do my very best at fulfilling this "role" that The Lord has given me, and a big part of that is sharing love.

Now please don't tune out if you are not married. This can be applied to all relationships, whether that is with children, your parents, siblings, or even friends. We all desire to be loved, and Jesus is the ultimate example of love. When sharing the gift of love, we have to realize that love from ourselves in our own flesh can wear out, grow old, and fall short. Pray for Jesus to fill you up with His love (which is unconditional), and let that flow out of you onto others. There are a few things I want to emphasize when it comes to sharing the gift of love to someone. I'm going to use my marriage as an example, but please adjust these examples to how you see it fit into your own life and relationships.

1. DO NOT COMPARE.

I learned early on in our marriage that when I compared my marriage relationship or the way we did things to others, I only hurt us. I remember a time that my husband got annoyed with me, because any idea I had on something was not my own opinion, but what I saw another couple do. There is a quote that says "Comparison is the Thief of Joy." How often do we find ourselves trying to compare to others: their relationships, the way they raise their kids, financial decisions, their walk with God?! I found that I often would feel disappointed when my husband didn't do the exact same thing as another couple did when we first started dating. Like any relationship, when we put expectations on the other person and don't communicate that expectation, our feelings get hurt. I quickly changed my perception on dating and took it into my own hands to plan and create. By doing this, I took away false expectation that didn't need to be there, and allowed myself the freedom for us to be our own couple and enjoy the time we spent together, without the comparison game. That sparked my passion for implementing date nights into our marriage, because I valued our time together and the memories we were creating for the two of us.

2. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE UNIQUE.

My marriage is different than my best friends, my parents, my siblings marriage. We may have the same values and beliefs, but the DNA of our relationship is different, and that is fine. For some of you, your friendships may be different. For others, your children and the way you raise them may be different than your neighbor. That simply means that sharing the gift of love looks differently for each of us.

3. APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE.

Make the most of the time you have with the ones you love. That may mean hours of talking, acts of service, creating atmospheres to be honest and vulnerable with others. Other examples of showing the gift of love to others is in volunteering, cooking a meal for someone, taking a trip, gifts, helping in time of need, and praying over someone. Show gratitude for the blessings that God has given you. Your spouse, child, parent, friend, are all blessings. Find joy in loving others and know that God will give you the love to share to others. 

CRAFT- DATE NIGHT JAR

I brought a date night jar to show an example of ways to be creative in sharing love.

These are some of my very best friends, and they encourage me in so many ways. They each encouraged me during one of the hardest times in my life, and gave me gifts of love with prayers, chatting, hugs, texts, and laughter.

I really learned to appreciate what I had when my world came to a holt and I was in the middle of a storm. I will be blogging about that storm & God's love for me through it in the weeks to come, so stay tuned!

 My hope is that you will be inspired to create something for you and your loved one. The gift of love isn't about the amount of money you spent, but it's about spending time together. Be encourage and inspired by these ideas on sharing the gift of love.

Becky

Memorial Day Weekend!

A couple of months ago, I called up my dad who has a beach house in Palacious, TX and told him Jearen & I wanted to come down for Memorial Day weekend. I put it in my calendar and it was official (anyone else feel like having things written in a calendar makes things "official"?!) Then we found out my sister's family was coming too, and I was wondering how we would all fit. Then our friends were attending a wedding in Houston & had the rest of the weekend free, so of course it was the perfect time for them to join us too. 

I think it must be a Hansen (my maiden name) thing, but my family THRIVES off of having a lot of people around. It was seriously the perfect weekend. If we weren't fishing, we were relaxing. If we weren't snacking, we were sleeping. It was stress free. It was a weekend full of love & laughter. That is what family time is all about, and I'm so thankful to be part of a family like that. A family who welcomes anyone into their doors with an open heart & mind. Doesn't matter your background. Doesn't matter your current situation. You are welcomed. You are loved. 

We fished a few times at a private pier that my parents have VIP access to. I got to reel in a 23 inch gafftop & gave him a big smooch. We found where the crabs where hiding out at (and I posted a video on Instagram: @becky_myers). We fished at night at a pier and our friend Kent caught an alligator gare. We played a lot with my niece Ava, who is a perfect doll. We drove down to Matagorda and saw the coast covered with seaweed. My brother in laws buried themselves in the sand. My dad passed out fresh watermelons to the locals at the beach because he is a social butterfly & has a kind heart (he even tried teaching a few boys how to fish). We prayed hand in hand over every meal, whether at home or at a restaurant. I'm thankful to be part of a family who prays together. I successfully did NOT get a sunburn, thanks to some 70 SPF sunblock! 

I'm so glad we blocked out this weekend in our schedule for time with our family. It was perfect!! 

-Becky